


sound

by Aries The Gay Crusader (crepuscolo), jedormis (dottie_wan_kenobi)



Series: safety in numbers [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Cheryl Blossom, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Toni Topaz, Bottom Cheryl Blossom, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Cheryl Bottom and Toni T O Paz, Eventual Smut, F/F, FUCK YOU PENELOPE BLOSSOM WE DONT STAN YOU YOU DONT EVEN GO HERE, First Meetings, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Minor Angst, POV Cheryl Blossom, POV Toni Topaz, Penelope Blossom's A+ Parenting, References to ABBA, Top Toni Topaz, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-08-04 14:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16348538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crepuscolo/pseuds/Aries%20The%20Gay%20Crusader, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/pseuds/jedormis
Summary: A Side Story that is in the same universe as 'safe' but it's Choni! And somehow gayer!'sound' is a slice of life set of one-shots that are all in the same universe dedicated to a side couple in the main story and what they were up to while bughead were being dumb. Turns out, it's a lot of gay shit.ENJOY!!1. When Cheryl Met Toni (their first meeting)2. Pretty Woman (Toni takes Cheryl's senior pictures)3. Clueless (banter at Pop's)4. 50 First Texts (50 text messages that are, yes, relevant to the plot)6. There's Something About Toni (Cheryl and her dragon brain think about Toni)7. Seventeen Candles (Toni's birthday)





	1. When Cheryl Met Toni

**Author's Note:**

> Ari and Dottie have yet another gay fever dream where we can dump Choni on you.
> 
> (and also give us time to write Safe so we can have a back up because we suck at time management.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheryl needs a photoshoot for her senior photos and is not going to have it done by someone her horrendous mother chose.  
> She needs someone her mother will hate, someone completely opposite to what that she-witch wants.
> 
> Someone, like a certain pink haired, sharp-witted and disgustingly gorgeous aka Toni Topaz. Hijinks and Bisexualism ensue.

“Cheryl, dear, I think it’s time we start to look for someone who can take your senior photos,” Penelope Blossom says, words kind but voice as cold as ice. “I know it’s early, but after everything that’s happened this year…”

Cheryl sets down her tea cup delicately, giving her mother a completely false but very wide smile. “You’re right, mother! I’ll start looking right now.”

There’s a very strict rule of no phones at the table. They both know this, and Penelope gives her a severely unamused look. “No, that won’t be necessary. I’ve already done some research into it, and I think I found someone– ”

“Actually, mother, I’m not interested in whoever it is that you approve of.” She infuses as much derision in the words as possible. “I have to go to school now. May I be excused?”

Penelope scoffs, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. She dismisses Cheryl with a wave of her gloved hand. Cheryl goes up to her room, grabbing everything she needs (namely, her bright red backpack), and leaves the oppressive Thistle House within minutes.

She’s a safe driver, so she doesn’t check her phone until she’s in the parking lot of Riverdale High. Sighing, she googles ‘photographer Riverdale NY’.

The first several options include all the people she assumes that her mother vetted already, and though Cheryl doesn’t know if she approved of them or not, she does know she doesn’t want to have to interact with anyone who’s ever spoken to her mother. Which leads her to the fifth result, an instagram account called _southside_photonis_ , advertising ridiculously cheap sessions.

The pictures on the account are beautiful, considering the majority of them are of the Southside. She recognizes Sweetwater in several nature shots, as well as what must be the quarry in others—Cheryl has been spared the misfortune of seeing it in real life—and the Serpent bar (all she recalls about it is that it has a stupid name) in the background of still others.

There are few faces shown in the pictures, and most of them, Cheryl is either uninterested in or disgusted by. How can anyone live with all that scruff on their face? It’s _revolting_.

However, there is one, a photo seven months old, that Cheryl finds herself staring at. It’s of a girl, looking right at the camera, her hair falling around her face, branches and leaves in the background. A beanie sits on her head, tasteful, unlike some beanies she’s forced to see often, and also red. It’s a dark, russet red, but it is red, and that’s all Cheryl cares about.

In short, the girl is beautiful, and Cheryl’s throat tightens as she imagines what the girl might look like in person.

Oh no, Penelope Blossom would definitely not approve. It’s perfect.

There’s still some time before she needs to be in class, so she decides to quickly message this person—their name is _Antoinette Photos_ and no pronouns are given—through Instagram.

 **cherrybombshell:** I’m interested in hiring you for my senior pics. You seem like you won’t be totally incompetent at it. HMU so we can talk details.

That done, she puts on her dragon queen smile and leaves the car

Her phone buzzes in chemistry class.

It’s been buzzing all day—it’s far from _dry_ , Jesus she’s not _Trula_ —but all of those had been texts from her various group chats. This buzz is different, making the distinct sound of an Instagram message.

Archie is her partner, since Veronica doesn’t have this class, and as much of a bumbling idiot as he is, he gets fussy when she checks her phone during labs. She’s not actually trying to piss him off, so she pointedly ignores her phone. She does mention several times though that it’s an important message until Archie finally sighs and says, “Check it, then!”

“No, no, I could never! We’re in the middle of a lab. I wouldn’t want to pour this perfectly harmless buffer over any uncovered eyes.” As she says this, she readjusts the goggles they’re forced to wear.

Archie groans and rolls his eyes, focusing back on the task at hand. If Cheryl hurries him along, enjoying the tightening of his shoulders, then that’s just a coincidence, isn’t it?

When they finally get done with the work, Cheryl wastes no time in checking her phone.

 **southside_photonis:** sure. how many do u want? where? etc

It’s not as professional as she might’ve hoped, but honestly, she’s glad for it. Professionalism is so overrated these days. And Cheryl wouldn’t mind being _unprofessional_ with someone like Antoinette.

 **cherrybombshell:** Don’t you have a package or something?

 **southside_photonis:** nope i don’t do this professionally or anything, just for pocket change

 **southside_photonis:** i just take pics girl idk any of that fancy shit

 **cherrybombshell:** How about 25 for $500?

 **southside_photonis:** holy shit

 **southside_photonis:** are you serious?

 **southside_photonis:** um fuck yeah I’ll make myself available to you whenever you want holy shit

 **cherrybombshell:** How about tomorrow, at sunrise?

 **southside_photonis:** done and done. where?

 **cherrybombshell:** Sweetwater by the old campsite? Bring a swimsuit **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 **southside_photonis:** holy shit yeah got it will do

Cheryl’s grin as she pushes her way through the halls to math is wide, smugly thinking, _hook, line, and sinker_.

* * *

When Cheryl gets home that afternoon, wonderfully sore from Vixens practice—her dear cousin literally laid in the grass in exhaustion, which is how she knows she did good—Penelope is sitting on the couch. She looks quietly furious as always, mouth a flat line, hands curled into fists in her lap.

“How was school?”

Somehow, the innocent and friendly tone grates more on Cheryl than the hateful one she uses to berate her every single thing she does. Clenching her teeth, she replies, “It was just like every other day of school, mother. Long.”

“I’m sure if you paid more attention to what the teachers are saying instead to of their asses, it wouldn’t feel that way.”

“And I’m sure that if you didn’t turn our home into a whorehouse I could study better for school, _Mother_.”

“Cheryl, please, there’s no need to be so rude. I’m simply showing concern for my daughter. My only living child.”

“Yeah, and who’s fault is that? Oh right, Father’s.” At that, she goes to her room, stomping every step ever so elegantly. She slams the door to her room as hard as she can. Unsatisfied with just that, she drops onto her expensive silk sheets and screams into her goosefeather pillow.

Hopefully her mother heard the slam and not the scream. She doesn’t want to be threatened with the Sisters of Quiet Mercy again.

* * *

Cheryl gets up two hours early, needing time to perfect her makeup and hair. Thankfully, since she uses Covergirl’s new _So Lashy!_ mascara, she never needs to worry about flat looking eyelashes, plus she can go in the water and they’ll look just as good as before. _Thanks, Covergirl_ , she thinks, giving herself a toothy grin in her mirror as she does her hair in waves. It’s like a ginger waterfall, which will go nicely with Sweetwater as the backdrop.

She packs an extra outfit. Twenty-five pictures will be taken, after all, and she wants there to be some variety. There’s also the distinct possibility she and Sweetwater River collide in some way. Not that she expects to fall, or even be pushed in, but– well, it’s better to take precautions than to walk around soaking wet.

The makeup bag is also packed. As it is now, her makeup looks amazing—her highlight is blinding, as it should be—but she has a feeling she might need it.

Just before she leaves, she messages Antoinette.

 **cherrybombshell:** You are still coming, aren’t you?

 **southside_phontonis:** I’m already here bombshell

 **southside_photonis:** so where are you?

Cheryl huffs at that. The audacity is astounding. Now she’s not going to have time to survey the area, get the lay of the land. She won’t have the high ground. How utterly infuriating.

 **cherrybombshell:** On my way. Try to refrain from drowning out of boredom, will you?

She takes her sweet time getting to Sweetwater, wanting to make Antoinette wait even more, wanting to show that she’s the one in control of the situation. Yes, she’s sacrificing the good lighting a sunrise can give, but she doesn’t care. It’s more important to be petty than anything else.

Parking her car on the edge of the river sends painful memories to the surface, and she is forced to swallow them down. Do not think about Jason. Do not.

Antoinette is sitting on the river’s edge, shoes off and feet in the water even though it’s getting colder. At the sound of Cheryl clearing her throat, Antoinette stands, coming up to eye level with her boobs.

So much for not having the high ground, she thinks, ‘cause this bitch is short.

“Cherry Bombshell?”

“Antoinette Photos?”

“Call me Toni.”

“Cheryl.”

“Nice to meet you. Now, I’ll do like, literally whatever you want since you’re paying so much.”

“Dangerous words, Cha Cha.”


	2. Pretty Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni takes some pictures. Cheryl gets her pictures taken. There's banter. It's gay. Moving on.
> 
> OR 
> 
> Ari and Dottie wanted to include gay icons and queer panic™. Enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was supposed to come out a while ago but Dottie's life got cray cray (several family emergencies after another and she got hit with this thing called Depression) so we took a break. And Ari had her ass whooped by school, less dramatic but equally time consuming.

Cha Cha. That’s new. Toni doesn’t mind it, though, not one bit. “What? You gonna make photograph you in the nude?”

Cheryl Blossom shrugs flippantly. “We’ll see. Now, I wanted to talk about poses.”

Toni stands up straighter, getting into the zone. Fucking Sweet Pea makes fun of her for it, but whatever. She’s about to be $500 richer than him and his stupid-ass  _ Scoops Ahoy _ salary.  _ Minimum wage ain’t shit, bitch.  _ “Yeah! Yeah, okay, so I was thinking, like, on the shore, we could….”

She trails off when she notices that Cheryl’s not paying attention, eyes glazed over, staring at Toni’s… chin? Unless she’s gay (which, holy shit,  _ please _ ) and looking at Toni’s lips. Unable to help herself, she bites her lip.

Cheryl’s gaze springs up to her eyes, narrowing. Goddamn, her eyes are pretty. Fuck, don’t think that until you know if she’s WLW or not, Toni. Bad gay! Bad!

“What?” Toni asks innocently. “Everything okay? You kinda zoned out for a sec.”

“Yes, yes. Everything’s fine.”

Toni decides to take a different approach. “Well, we could do what everyone else does, or we could be creative and make you stand out.” She mutters, not wanting the other girl to hear, “ _ Even more than you do already. _ ”

“What did you say?”

“Um, maybe if you think you’re ready, we could try taking some candids.”

Cheryl flicks her perfectly wavy hair over her shoulder, making her way towards the shore. Over her shoulder she calls, “Looks like we’re waiting on you, now.”

Damn, what an ass. Literally and figuratively. Ugh, why do the worst people have the best butts? It’s just not fair.

Shaking her head, Toni follows after Cheryl, raising the camera to her eye even before she gets in a good spot. Yeah, she’s the worst, but she’s beautiful. The pictures Toni takes today will be amazing, even if they’re terrible, just because the subject is so... _ sensational _ .

“Come on, Cheryl, just run in the water. You’re wearing your dress. It’s short enough that it’ll be fine.”

“How dare you? My sweet porcelain skin is too delicate for the harsh current.”

“Oh my god, it’s literally just the shore. At most, your toes will get wet.”

“Nothing will ever get me in that water again,” Cheryl declares, her arms crossed under her boobs and bringing way too much of Toni’s attention to them.

Fed up, Toni blurts, “Do it for Queer Eye!”

Miraculously, it works. Cheryl rolls her eyes but says, “ _ Fine _ ,” and stomps off onto the very edge of the water. “I’m only doing this for Jonathan Van Ness. And Karamo Brown. Not you.”

“That’s fine. As long as you do it, I don’t care who you do it for.” Her words are calm, but internally, she’s anything but. She’s doing it for two non-Antoni Queer Eye boys! There’s only one reasonable conclusion here: Cheryl Blossom is gay. Or bisexual. But definitely queer in some way. Toni can work with that.

She fucking  _ will  _ work with that.

“You mind if we listen to some music? I can’t focus without something to listen to.”

Cheryl sighs but allows it, perfectly sculpted eyebrow raising when Toni starts blasting Hayley Kiyoko.

“You know her?”

“Who doesn’t? Jesus, I don’t live under a rock.”

S he’s right – why  _ wouldn’t  _ she know a gay icon, especially this one, a real-life WLW queen. “Oh, when’d you hear of her the first time?”

“Lemonade Mouth, of course.”

Toni’s heart sings,  _ She’s gay, gay gay gay, officially gay! _ Jesus, she needs to get a hold of herself, stop getting off track. She’s here to take pictures and make money. Everything else can come later. “Same. Now, could you, uh, turn to the right, yeah, just like that….”

* * *

When Cheryl decides that she’s done, Toni’s taken way more than 25 pictures, but that’s to be expected.

“I’ll fix up the ones I like and send them your way,” she says, clicking through and trying to be as obvious as possible as she moons over the pictures. Her work is done and she can be as gay as she wants now.

“I’d rather you just send me all of the pictures and I will tell you which ones to ‘fix up’.”

“Sorry, bombshell, it doesn’t work that way. Never has, never will.”

“I’ll pay you $600 total, $300 now, $300 once the pictures are done.”

“Yeah, sorry, not gonna happen. I don’t make exceptions for anyone. Especially someone like you.”

“And what is that supposed to mean, exactly?”

“You, Cherry Bombshell, are the type of insecure little cheerleader who wants to mess with perfection. And I cannot allow that. No matter how much money you offer me.”

Toni smirks in satisfaction as Cheryl is caught in a stunned silence.  _ Oh yeah _ , she thinks,  _ I did that. _

“Anyway, it shouldn’t take too long. You’re a natural. Won’t be much to change. Also, I need your number.”

“Excuse you, what makes you think I’ll give a stranger from the Southside my phone number?”

Toni rolls her eyes, though she can sense the repression Cheryl’s exuding right now. “Look, I’m not about to send my pictures over Insta. God only knows how big of a cesspool that is for creepy hackers. So if you want your pictures, give me your number, and I will text you when they finish developing.”

They have a staring match for several long moments, the tension obvious to Toni. If she’s not WLW somehow, Toni will literally eat her fucking hat.

“Fine,” Cheryl caves, frown powerful enough to level cities. Toni finds it delightful. 

They share numbers, and Toni walks towards her motorbike, calling over her shoulder in an imitation of Cheryl, “See you later, Bombshell,” before taking off down the road.

_ Damn, I looked badass. Yes! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No shade to Antoni, we love him very much!
> 
> Please comment, we will love you forever <3


	3. Clueless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheryl and Toni go on a platonic as fuck, non-date and fail miserably at it.
> 
> Have fun with that.
> 
> OR
> 
> Ari and Dottie can't keep a consistent update for fuck all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI PLEASE ENJOY THE GAY LOVE YALL

**Toni (Photographer):** hey the pics developed when/where can you meet?

**Cheryl:** Pop’s at 7?

**Toni (Photographer):** AM or PM cause I don’t think I can handle another early ass morning so soon

**Cheryl:** PM obviously

**Cheryl:** I would say earlier than that, but I’m a busy person, with real life responsibilities

**Toni (Photographer):** yeah me too. I’ll be there at 7 on the fuckin dot your highness

**Cheryl:** That’s what I like to hear. Ta ta now, Toni. Those pics better be good.

**Toni (Photographer):** trust me, they are

* * *

 

Pop’s at 7 pm is far from lively, which is perfect for what Cheryl wants.

It’s not that she can’t stand to be seen with Southsiders. For some reason, Jughead always finds himself right there, no matter where she goes. The problem is that she doesn’t want to be seen with this particular Southsider.

Jughead is so obviously taken by Betty that no one assumes anything of them when they’re seen together. (Cheryl rolls her eyes at stupid teenage boys so obviously hung up on just-as-stupid cousins. This is why girls are better.) The same can’t be said for Toni.

Still dressed in her cheerleading uniform, Cheryl slides into a booth, not the designated one her cousin and co. have taken over, glancing at the clock on her phone. It’s 6:50, giving Toni ten minutes to get here, or Cheryl wins.

Those ten minutes are spent avoiding the eye of Pop Tate, who has found himself much more interested in the goings on of the teens in this town after Veronica bought the store from her father. It was a business move made to help her grow up, though honestly, Cheryl doesn’t care. There’s just nothing else to think about.

Toni arrives two seconds after the clock turns over to seven. Two seconds is absolutely enough margin to count as a win. Under normal circumstances, Cheryl would lord this victory over Toni’s head. But she’s exhausted from Vixen’s practice, even if she doesn’t want to admit it, leaving no energy for such taunting.

Toni spots her immediately, smiling despite the less-than-kind edge to their text conversation. Her leather rubs together as she walks over, chains swinging, boots thumping on the floor.

Cheryl straightens her spine in response. She will not let this Southsider get to her.

“Hey, Bombshell. I ended up picking thirty instead of twenty-five. ‘Cause like, when I said you’re a natural, I meant that shit. All of the pictures looked great, even the ones when you were rolling your eyes at me.”

Jesus, do they not teach good manners to the poor children? “Of course they did, they were taken of me. I’m a goddess.”

“Look, I’m not disagreeing with you, I’m just saying even the prettiest of my clients had bad pictures.”

“Hmm. Well, let’s see them.”

Toni slides a folder out from underneath her arm, and lays it flat on the table. There’s a stack of picture paper there, and she says, “I don’t really know how to make these digital, sorry.”

“ I suppose it’s fine. Let me see if I can work with any of it.”

As it turns out, all of the pictures are amazing. Toni is truly talented, more than Cheryl honestly hoped for. Not that she’d ever say that out loud. “Not bad,” she says, “It almost captures my true beauty, although nothing compares to the real thing, c’est moi.”

Toni does something that surprises Cheryl then – she sings, “'Casse-toi, who’s the best? C’est moi.'”

“I didn’t realize you Southsiders even knew about Hamilton, much less the lyrics to the songs.”

She rolls her eyes, and it, Cheryl has to admit, is not half bad either. God, she’s going soft. “It’s the only way to make anyone care about that period of history. It’s so fucking boring otherwise. But it’s fun to rap, especially Daveed Diggs’ parts.”

“Is  _ Aaron Burr, Sir  _ your favorite song?”

“Hell no,” Toni laughs, “It’s  _ Guns and Ships _ .”

“Oh, I do enjoy that one. But my favorite has to be  _ The Schuyler Sisters _ .”

“That’s a good one too. I can rap it off the top of my head.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

“' T here’s nothing rich folks love more, Than going downtown and slummin’ it with the poor, They pull up in their carriages and gawk, At the students in the common, Just to watch them talk, Take Philip Schu–'”

“That’s enough,” Cheryl interrupts, trying to ignore the way Toni’s voice sends a shiver down her spine. “I get it. You know the song. Good for you.”

“You cut me off before the best part!” Under her breath, but clear enough for Cheryl to hear, she sings, “And Peggy!”

Cheryl shrugs. “It’s Hamilton, sweetheart, every part is the best part.”

“That’s fair. I guess. Anyway, while I’m here, is it cool if I get a milkshake? I’ve been craving one for weeks.”

“Well, it’s not like Pop’s can go anywhere. Just come and get one.”

“You think I can just come here whenever I want? Southsiders aren’t allowed in without a Northsider, or else we get forced out. As long as I’m here, I can get myself a milkshake. We don’t have to stay or anything, but I’m taking full advantage of this.”

“ Fine. Get me one too. Strawberry, with a cherry on top. And tell Pop I want it with all the red sprinkles he’s got.”

“Doesn’t that cost, like, ten bucks?”

“What about it?”

Toni shakes her head, muttering, “Nevermind.” She leaves, giving Cheryl a moment to think. If her eyes linger on the other girl’s leather-clad hips, and fishnet leggings covered legs, well then, she’s just... making sure Toni doesn’t fall. Those boots look like they could be unstable on the very shiny floor of Pop’s. Wouldn’t want any scuffs.

When Toni returns to the table, with Cheryl’s milkshake in one hand and a triple chocolate, there are two cherries on Cheryl’s milkshake.

“Oh, whoops,” she says, and plucks one of them out of the whipped cream popping it in her mouth. She holds onto the stem, making serious eye contact with her as she says, “I love a good cherry.” Flashing her a million dollar smile, Cheryl inhales and exhales deeply.

Do  _ not _ let her get to you, Cheryl Marjorie Blossom. Don’t.

“Wow, that’s so interesting. What else do you like? Sand sifting? Long hand division?”

“No, actually, I like running my fingers through girl’s hair. Guys too, but like, way less so.  G irls just have that sort of,” she inhales through her nose, “je ne sais quoi, and I think it’s boobs. You know?”

Cheryl freezes. Did this Southside girl just come out to her? The only open gay she knows is Kevin, and only because of Betty. And Veronica, too, but Veronica is taken and therefore unavailable. How did Kevin say she should react in these situations? “Wow, thank you for being open with me, that’s very powerful. And I will… take your trust in me very seriously.”

“Wait… you don’t know I’m bi? I thought the pink hair and combat boots said it all!” She takes a long drag of her milkshake.

“I didn’t want to assume.”

“Listen, when a girl wears flannel, and she doesn’t live on a ranch, she’s probably W-L-W. It’s a safe assumption. And I am very,  _ very  _ gay.”

“Good to know I guess, not for any particular reason but thank you for sharing any way. It must’ve been difficult to– ”

“Cheryl. Girl. Literally everyone knows I’m gay. I think you’re the last one to know. But thanks for understanding.”

“Sure.” 

“Anyway I gotta jet, see ya Red!” She said after downing the rest of her milkshake, grabbing the folder obviously on instinct, and walking off.

Cheryl could not stop looking at her legs and butt as she exited the diner, and she kept following her path to her motorcycle waiting outside Pop’s through the window. She carefully watched as Toni put on her helmet and straddled her bike, only looking away when the engine started rumbling to life, and then as she took off to what Cheryl presumed is the Southside.

She finished her milkshake silently and as she made her way outside she realised,  _ FUCK, I forgot to ask for my photos! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment we will love you forever <3


	4. 50 First Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's here, It's queer, and it's short as hell.
> 
> Basically, we wrote the Toni Topaz of fanfic chapters.
> 
> Listen it's been busy, she's depressed, I'm stressed and it's been a time in Trump's America, we love you tho.
> 
> OR 
> 
> Ari and Dottie try to mix it up like it's the Hannah Montana theme song.

**Cheryl:** Cha Cha you forgot to give me the reason for our unnecessary interaction 

**Toni:** Oh shit sorry I only have the one folder so I always take it at the end

**Toni:** Didn’t realize you didn’t have the pics

**Toni:** When can you meet up again?

**Cheryl:** T omorrow, 4:00, meet me at the school gym before Vixen’s practice

**Toni:** Yeet

**Cheryl:** Did you sneeze?

**Toni:** kjkfnjsan

**Cheryl:** Are you having a stroke?

**Toni:** What kind of gay are you?? Don’t even know what a keysmash is smh

**Cheryl:** Excuse you

**Toni:** You’re not even gonna defend yourself

**Cheryl:** It’s not a secret that I’m gay

**Cheryl:** Who the fuck does splits in the locker room

**Cheryl:** Like, casually

**Cheryl:** I burned down my house with a candelabra and gasoline. In what world would a straight person do that?

**Toni:** Wow 

**Toni:** …. that’s hot

**Cheryl:** Very

**Cheryl:** Third degree burns in fact

**Cheryl:** My poor mother

**Toni:** Jesus okay you’re a dramatic gay I got it

**Cheryl:** Aren’t we all dramatic gays?

**Cheryl:** Dramatic… gay…. Aren’t these just words that ultimately just describe the same thing…. Me

**Toni:** Wow that’s iconic

**Cheryl:** Very that

**Cheryl:** Anyway tomorrow, Vixen’s practice, got it?

**Toni:** Got it Bombshell

* * *

 

**Toni:** So Red, what do you think?

**Cheryl:** They’re breathtaking, although it’s not that difficult to capture my effervescence

**Toni:** Haha thanks I guess

**Toni:** Sorry I bolted

**Toni:** Riverdale High makes my skin crawl

**Cheryl:** Wow Topaz, a mood

**Toni:** By the way, before I gave you the folder, I saw you stretching, and like, wow legs

**Cheryl:** Don’t forget the ass but thank you. Hey, if you liked it so much, why don’t you consider cheerleading?

**Toni:** Nah fam it’ll ruin my bad girl image

**Cheryl:** Ugh fine, how terribly one note of you TT

**Toni:** Hey that image shows me who is and is not worth my time. The people who can see through it are worth it.

**Cheryl:** So… am I one of those people?

**Toni:** We’ll see

**Toni:** Depends

**Cheryl:** Depends on what?

**Toni:** Depends on if you’d like to go to my little get together I’m having with my friends for my birthday

**Toni:** So, what’ll it be, Bombshell?

**Cheryl:** What kind of get together?

**Toni:** Casual

**Cheryl:** What’s the dress code?

**Toni:** Surprise me. You gonna be there, then?

**Cheryl:** Definitely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yes, this is short BUT we're trying to stick to a rom-com theme here, it's a whole thing. We PROMISE that a new, longer chapter will be out in a few days.


	5. There's Something About Toni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE PROMISED IT'LL BE HERE AND IT IS 
> 
> or
> 
> ARI AND DOTTIE FULFILL A PROMISE FOR ONCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S CHERYL AND HER DRAGON BRAIN Y'ALL!!!
> 
> If you are a fan of lizard brain Betty then oh mama are you gonna like this.

T oni Topaz. She’s infuriating, cheeky, never serious. And yet, she’s so hot, her beauty rivals that of Cheryl. 

_ Wow, Cheryl, that’s crazy, you think she’s as pretty as you, since when has that ever happened to you? _

Ugh. A Southsider shouldn’t be consuming her thoughts like this. Especially one that pairs flannels with mesh.

...Actually, that’s not so bad. In fact, while she’s on the subject,  everything Toni has worn in Cheryl’s presence has been very fashionable and gay. None of it has been designer, but even Cheryl understands that not everyone in Riverdale is going to walk around in Gucci.

_ Eesh, why would they want to? _

She twirls her fork in the pasta she’s having for lunch, sighing. If only everyone were as rich and well dressed and beautiful as her. Toni is two out of three, at least.

But why Toni? Why in god’s gay earth is she the one that caught her fancy out of a sea of women? There are so many girls going to Riverdale High, so many of them gay or at least gay enough, to give her some action.

But noooooo.

It has to be Antoinette fucking Topaz. The Southside chick, who probably hasn’t ever seen a running toilet once in her life.

_ No, Cheryl, that’s not true. The Southside may be dirt poor, but they have toilets. You’re being mean. Stop it. Don’t be mean to the pretty lady! _

Jeez, fine. She’s mean to everyone, but sure, she’ll make an exception for this one girl. But why this one girl?

_ Maybe ‘cause she’s fucking gorgeous and she’s one of the maybe three people who have shown you kindness in the last three years? _

Shit, you right. The standards are low. 

_ Very, but she would exceed any expectations you tried to set anyway thot. _

Cheryl shakes her head at herself. Stop it, Dragon Brain. I am a lady, not a thot. Well, I would be a thot for Toni, but it’s not like I’m gonna say anything. No, Cheryl, you have to control yourself or else you might taint the Blossom name.

_ Yeah, ‘cause it’s so pure already. _

Touche.

_ She seems like a nice girl. If your only hang up is that she’s from the Southside, then your classism is worse than the feudal system. You could always ask her to move in? God knows you have enough space in that stupid house. _

Really? I’ve had two and half conversations with her, and you already want her to move in? You’re a mess.

_ Bitch, are you aware you’re talking to yourself? I am you. Therefore, you just called yourself a mess. Congrats. You played yourself. Now get your shit together and let that girl top you like there’s no tomorrow. _

Okay, wow. First of all, you have a point, I played myself. Oh well. Second of all, we have to go on at least three dates before any topping occurs. For all we know, she could be a power bottom.

_ Girl. Are you serious? The amount of Big Dick Energy that exuded from her just walking away from the booth at Pop’s will tell you all you need to know about her preferred sexual position. _

Shit, I want to be her bottom so bad.

_ The thirst is real. _

You’re right, Dragon Brain. I’m simply parched. I need to be quenched. And Toni’s looking like a fucking waterfall right now.

_ Yass, Queen, get on with ya gay self. The Fab Five would be so proud. Look at you go, you lesbian you. _

I’m bisexual. You know that, Dragon Brain.

_ It’s easier to say lesbian. _

That’s bi erasure, I won’t stand for it in my own head.

_ Shit you right, my bad. I was being intolerant. We’ll have to work on that. Educate yourself, fool. _

Take this as a growing moment, Dragon Brain. It’s good for you. 

_ N _ _ o, it’s good for you. Remember, you’re educating yourself. Because again, and stay with me here, I AM YOU.  You’re the one with internalized homophobia bitch, you’re the one that needs to be educated. Hello. _

I feel so attacked right now.

_ HAHA, depression bitch. _

Yeah…. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, Toni Topaz. Hot. I’m a mess. What am I supposed to do about it?

_ Be her friend first. Go to the birthday party! Be like… be like Jughead! He’s been pining forever. Actually wait, don’t be like that beanie wearing freak. But still, friends is good. Since you’re not completely incompetent, you can move past that stage. _

True, Dragon Brain. No one is as inept as Jughead. Not even Archie, and he’s about as inept as they come. I’ve met actual stacks of rocks smarter than him.

_ Are we surprised though? _

… No. It is Archie Andrews, after all.

_ Cheryl Marjorie Blossom. What did I just say about being nicer? _

You started it.

_ No, I’m you, therefore you started it. So HA. Come on girl, get this through your head. _

Jesus, you are so annoying.

_ No, you are. How many times do I have to say this? _

How am I supposed to friend Toni exactly? Just go to her birthday party?

_ You’re acting like a white girl in a rom-com. You know how to make friends. Talk to her. Pretend to be interested in what she’s talking about. Find common interests so you don’t have to pretend. Make an effort. Hang out with her outside of photo-related meetings. God, you are stupid. _

I’m not stupid, I’m just –  _ nervous _ . Oh my god, what is happening to me? Nervous? Moi? I’m Cheryl Fucking Blossom, I don’t get nervous.

_ Yes, you do… duh. You got nervous this morning when you couldn’t find your lipstick and you also got nervous at Toni seeing you without your lipstick… and you got nervous when Toni almost left without saying goodbye. You’re always nervous. You’re a nervous wreck. I bet you were nervous in the birth canal, worried you wouldn’t come out. Was the womb the only place you were ever calm? I doubt it. _

WE GET IT. Jesus Christ. I’m a disaster, a bisexual mess. You don’t have to be so fucking mean.

_ I. AM. YOU. You are mean! Not me! YOU! Both. Us. We. A unit. _

Not just me.

_ I am literally you. There’s only one person, and that’s you, the person having a conversation with herself when she’s supposed to be eating her pasta and loathing herself for eating carbs this late in the day even though she knows it’s 2018 and she can do whatever the fuck she wants. #Feminism #TheFutureIsFemale #IWishIHadRigaTONIInstead _

Oh my god, I’m going crazy.

_ Nope, you’re just a nervous gay. A gay who is nervous. No correlation. Well, some, but mainly not. _

We get it, I’m a garbage person!

_ Yes, but you’re a garbage person with a great ass and legs for days. So werk it henny. _

My internal dichotomy is astounding.

_ Welcome to Gen Z, bitch. _


	6. Seventeen Candles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Toni's birthday and she and Cheryl flirt a lot!!
> 
> OR
> 
> Dottie and Ari finally fucking posted!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely rated T for teen yall
> 
> Also we're so, so, so sorry that it took this long to update. The next one probably won't come super quickly either, but we wanted to give you guys something. This chapter is pretty long in comparison to the rest and also hopefully funny? Anyway sorry again for the wait and please enjoy

T oni sends the text with the address of the Whyte Wyrm two days before her birthday, adding a little note at the end, allowing Cheryl an out. Yeah, she wants the other girl to come, but she knows better than anyone that moods can change. Cheryl might not want to come anymore, and that’s fine, Toni can deal with that.

The person who cannot deal with that is Sweet Pea. Toni tells him one thing about a girl she’s crushing on, and suddenly, he’s gotta know everything about everything. He knows it’s annoying. He’s smirking right now. Toni has half a mind to climb up on a chair and knock his teeth in.

Though really, she knows he’d just find that even funnier. She can imagine him laughing, blood running down his chin, still fucking teasing her.

“So, is she not coming tonight or something?” He knocks his knuckles on the table a few times, like he’s knocking on wood to unjinx his words. It makes their drinks rattle, little tsunamis in their glasses caused by his big ass hands. Fangs scowls, and snatches his drink up, but Joaquin just grins.

“Last I heard, she is. Doesn’t seem like the type to flake out at the last second.”

“Who’s that?” A new voice asks, coming up from behind. Toni doesn’t have to look to recognize it. FP, the leader of the gang, the guy who acts like their dad while neglecting his own son.

“A  _ girl _ ,” Sweet Pea teases, wiggling his eyebrows. Toni wads up a napkin and throws it at his face. He barely even blinks. “She’s Northside, but Toni’s totally  _ smitten _ .”

“Fuck you, Patrick!”

“Aww, look, she’s a smitten kitten.”

“Fogarty, I swear to god – “

“C’mon, boys, leave Toni alone. At least until this girl gets here.” He claps Toni on the back heartily.  “ And if you need me to dazzle her with some snake facts, let me know.”

“FP. You never took biology once. How the fuck do you know so much about snakes?”

“I feel it in my wiggles.” He winks and slithers away.

“I swear to Oprah, one day he’s gonna actually do the worm outta here.”

“Eventually, probably. Seems like the kinda thing he’d do.” Joaquin turns from Fangs to Toni. “I just gotta ask, does she know what she’s walking into?”

Toni shrugs. “I sent her the address. Not my fault if she doesn’t look it up.”

“Is she the type to look things up?”

“I don’t fucking know, Patrick, she’s rich. She does rich people things. Do rich people use Google?”

“Rich people probably own a part of Google, if not all of it.”

“They probably have their own Googler? Googlist? Googliaison.”

Toni’s about to respond and call them all fucking idiots, but then the doors swing open, and in steps Cheryl Fucking Blossom.

She’s taken casual to mean dressing up in her best clothes. Some of them, at least. Toni imagines there’s a lot more where this outfit came from. When she looks at Cheryl, the very first thing that comes to mind is: FASHION. Her hair is up in a ponytail that defies all laws of physics and swings when she walks. Toni’s eyes are drawn, of course, to Cheryl’s hips, which are encased in red booty shorts. Above that is a strip of skin Toni wants to lick, and then a write bralette thing that Toni doesn’t need to know the technical term for as long as it keeps those boobs on center stage. A leather jacket covers her arms, a smart choice considering how cold the Wyrm can get.

The way she struts in, confident but not overly so, makes Toni start to sweat. Her friends turn to look where she is, and all their jaws drop. But Cheryl makes eye contact with Toni, and raises her hand in a wave. “Cha cha! Hello!”

Is she pregnant? Toni feels like she’s pregnant. Just one look, and bam, she’s with child. Also, she’s sweating profusely and her mouth is dry and she thinks she could survive hours on her knees before this goddess. But that’s neither here nor there.

“Bombshell! Come on over!” Then she kicks at Sweet Pea, knocking him almost all the way to the floor. He manages to catch his fall at the last second. “Make room for her, asshole!”

“Toni, um, I ask this politely, what the fuck,” Sweet Pea complains immediately, but doesn’t make it back to his seat in time before Cheryl in prancing over and settling herself on it. Jesus, her legs look even longer up close. Is that even possible?

“Go suck ass at pool,” she tells him, distracted.

“I am great at sucking ass, mind you!”

“Uh-huh.”

“You believe me, right bro?”

“Yeah, sure man.” Fangs takes a long drag of his drink, only to be jerked out of his seat as well. This time, it’s not by Toni’s boot, but by Sweet Pea’s aforementioned big ass hands. “What the fuck, bro!”

Joaquin laughs and laughs, while Cheryl just looks at them, mouth set. “These are your friends, Antoinette?”

“Yeah, unfortunately. I’m kinda stuck with ‘em now. Anyway, this brute is Sweet Pea, that’s Fangs, and that’s Joaquin.”

“I’m the only straight person here,” Sweet Pea says cheerfully.

Joaquin counters, “You’re still – ? Okay. You do you, man.”

“How many times do I have to say I’m not gay?”

“And how many times do I have to tell you that those dreams are  _ not hetero in any way _ .” Fangs huffs, rolling his eyes. “I would fucking know.”

“Dreams like those are what got me out of the closet.”

“Joaquin, I did not need to know that about you.”

“Clearly, you need some sort of gay force in your life, and Fangs and Toni aren’t cutting it anymore. Consider me your guru.”

“Consider me unsubscribing from this conversation,” Cheryl declares, and turns to Toni. “Do they serve drinks here?”

“Yeah, but you gotta go to that server over there,” Toni says, jerking her head in Honey Bun’s direction. “He’s jailbait. Won’t get in as much trouble if he serves us.  P l us all the elders here get heated if we try to get even a watered down beer, so they refuse to serve us.”

“And this boy will give me… what? Whatever I want? Or watered down tap beer?”

“Anything, but he does water it down some.” Not enough, FP says, but if you ask, say, Fangs? Way, way too much.

“What if I gave one of those other bartenders a hundred dollar bill?”

“They’d take it and give you a soda or some shit. I don’t know, no one here has ever tried it. We’re all broke as jokes, Bombshell.”

“ Sad. Will you save my seat?”

“How’s about we go together? I’m in need of a refill.” She’s not, actually, her drink is nearly three quarters full, but she inconspicuously slides it towards Joaquin, who grabs it and takes a long sip.

“Okay,” Cheryl agrees, and they stand, her ponytail swishing with the movement. Toni sidles up next to her, into the cloud of her wonderful-smelling perfume, and takes a chance. Her hand goes to the small of Cheryl’s back, and then she’s leading them to the bar. 

Cheryl side eyes her, but says nothing. In fact, she steps a little closer, allows herself to be lead even though she can clearly see where they’re going.

She’s solid, warm through her clothes, and while at first Toni consciously doesn’t touch the strip of bare skin, she stops giving a fuck when one of the creepy older guys starts looking. With her pinky, she brushes the skin there, grinning widely when Cheryl jumps and goosebumps break out.

“Cha Cha,” she hisses.

“What? You good?”

“Just peachy.”

“Glad to hear it.” They arrive at the bar then, and Toni finds herself pushing herself back so Cheryl is at the front of the bar. This way, Toni’s between Cheryl and all the creeps who are definitely checking out her ass. Still, Toni slaps a hand on the bar, though she does have to lean into Cheryl so she can reach the edge. “Honey Bun! Gin and tonic for me, and… ?”

“Vodka cherry,” Cheryl tells him, smirking at Toni over her shoulder. Toni rolls her eyes and bites her lip and feels more gay than she ever has before. Which is really saying something.

“Comin’ right up.” Honey Bun then proceeds to water their drinks down right in front of them, giving his little spiel about minors and alcohol and yadda yadda.

“Thanks so much.” Toni steps back to allow Cheryl some room to turn around, drinks in hand.

“Anything for a pal,” he jokes, “Especially when you bring such pretty girls around.”

“Hands off, Honey Bun, she’s mine.”

It’s a joke. Toni doesn’t believe in possession of people, of fucking course she doesn’t, but the Serpents have this thing where outsiders “belong” to whoever brought them in, at least while they’re at the Whyte Wyrm. Toni prefers to think about it like Cheryl is part of her RSVP party, or something. She doesn’t own Cheryl and never will (unless Cheryl is into that, obviously).  _ Stupid brain, stop thinking like this, _ her snake brain snaps.  _ You haven’t even asked her out yet, and you’re already thinking about that? Come on! You haven’t even spoken to her in five separate conversations. Slow your role. _

“Ooh, kinky.”

“It can be,” Toni winks. She isn’t thinking, but she doesn’t have to be. It’s fine, she reassures herself. Just harmless flirting.

“Well, what’s stopping you?” Cheryl asks, leaning forward just a little bit, Just enough that Toni sees down her shirt. Just enough to make Toni think maybe this isn’t harmless. Just enough to–

_ Holy shit, are her boobs real? Like, wow?  _ _ W _ _ hen can I get my hands on – ? _

“Cha Cha,” Cheryl prompts. “Speak.”

“Uh – um, heh, uh – uhhh – What’s that Sweet Pea? Yeah, sure, be right there!”

She gives Cheryl finger guns, turns and flees back to their table, where Sweet Pea is still standing. The whole way, she’s silently screaming, hating herself. She’s one of the few gays in this stupid town, she should be better at this! 

“Finger guns? Finger guns?! She basically propositions me, and all I can muster is fucking finger guns?” She groans and drops her head to her hands. Cheryl still has her drink, so she can’t even drown her sorrows.

Sweet Pea laughs in her face. “Tiny, you’re a mess, sweetheart.”

“Not helping, Pea!”

“I’m just speaking the truth,” he shrugs. “You gave that hottie the finger guns instead of just making a move. What’s wrong with you?”

“Okay, that’s valid, but you’re still gay and annoying.”

“I’m not gay.”

“But you are annoying,” she laughs.

“Dammit.” Then his eyes slide over her shoulder. “Looks like your Bombshell’s coming back. Try putting away your weapons this time. See ya later, dumbass.”

“Fuck off, Patrick.”

“I’ll find someone, I’m sure,” he sniffs, and then he’s gone.

Cheryl approaches the second he’s gone, setting their drinks on the table, and sliding Toni’s towards her. “You really fucked that one up.”

“What?  _ Whaaat _ ? Nah, no, I didn’t. I meant to do that. Yeah.”

“You meant to do finger guns?”

“Yes. They’re  _ sooo  _ in right now, in… Europe.”

“Europe?” Cheryl’s perfectly sculpted eyebrow is in her hairline.

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Toni, have you ever been to Europe?”

“Um… no.  _ But _ , I know people from there. And they tell me it’s true. So, ha!”

“Sure, Cha Cha. Sure. Just… next time, take me up on the offer, will you?”

“Mmhmm. Totally, yeah.”

“You’re a disaster,” Cheryl tells her, not unkindly. “But it’s your birthday, so I will allow it.”

Toni manages a chuckle at that. “Thanks, I guess.” Then she takes a long drag of her drink.

“Joyeux anniversaire, Antoinette.” Toni couldn’t tell you what Cheryl said, but she can guarantee that her underwear shot through the floor. She makes a noise, she thinks, because Cheryl laughs. 

Fuck, it’s a nice laugh. 

“Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“You said my laugh is nice.”

“Oh shit.” To the ceiling, Toni asks aloud, “Can I please be struck down?”

“Not when we’re having a moment, no!”

“Oh, this is a moment?”  _ God, is that you? Because, sincerely, what the fuck. I’m too gay for this! _

“I keep trying to make it one, but you aren’t cooperating as well as I’d hoped.” She sighs, before perking up. “That’s alright, though. There’ll be more opportunities for you to partake in an amorous exchange with yours truly another time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now, Antoinette, give me a tour of this place. I need to see every dingy corner.”

“Just let me – “ Toni downs the rest of her drink, regrets it instantly, and stands, holding onto the table for balance. Cheryl stands as well, but with an infinite amount of grace that Toni will never posses. She reaches out for Toni’s arm, linking them together.

“Let’s go, shall we?”

“Yup. You’re gonna love the dingy corner over there, and the blood stain on the back wall, and the puke bucket.”

“Hmm. Can’t wait.”

“Huh. Cheryl Blossom, I’d never thought you’d be interested in all this poor folk shit.”

“Trust me, I’m not. Consider this a birthday present.”

“Didn’t want to shell out for something a little more tangible?”

“I’m confident that my presence alone has sufficed.”

“You’re not wrong….”

“Like I said,  _ confident _ .”

“I appreciate that in a girl,” Toni says with a wink.

“Oh, so now you’re sauve?”

“Well, to be fair, your boobs aren’t in my face anymore. That makes things a lot easier for me.”

Cheryl leans in close, whispering in her ear, “Well then, I guess I’m going to have to wear a turtleneck next time.”

“No, no, no, that – that won’t be necessary. No turtlenecks for us.”

“Oh no, but if it’s too much for you to handle, then what?”

“I, I – “

“We wouldn’t want that, now would we.”

Toni… has no idea what to say. She’s speechless. It’s a first.

Cheryl glances around, and starts to steer them towards the door. Once there, she disentangles their arms. “I think it’s time I take my leave. Maybe we can do the tour another day?” Then, in a whisper that sends shivers down Toni’s spine and breath blowing across Toni’s ear, “Happy birthday, my cherie.” She doesn’t even wait for Toni to respond before pressing a kiss to her cheek, and leaving.

Toni’s left standing there, feeling gay, shook, horny, and a plethora of other things, most of them very gay. When she turns around, she sees Sweet Pea smirking at her, and storms off to the bar. Jesus, she needs a drink, and some time alone to stew in everything that happened tonight. When she gets there, fucking Honey Bun laughs at her, and doesn’t respond when she snaps, “ _ What _ ?”

Hours later, she stumbles into her bathroom, and sees exactly why Honey Bun, Sweet Pea, and all the rest were laughing at her. There’s a red imprint of lips on her cheek, right where Cheryl kissed her.

_ Don’t wash it off, _ her snake brain whispers, but Toni doesn’t listen, and scrubs it off. Not before taking a picture of it and feeling her heart swell over it though.


End file.
